bartenderbaby

It seems I may owe an apology for my lack of writing to my faithful readers (both of them) which I was ever so politely reminded of yesterday. Sorry guys!

It was an eventful weekend as you can probably imagine, with the holiday. The bar was hopping for four days straight, which almost never happens, and the festivities brought all sorts of people out of the woodwork to party.

During my very long shift on Saturday I took a much needed trip to the lavatory and as I waited patiently for a stall to open up, I observed a very large woman applying her bright ass pink lipstick. I didn’t think much of it until her even larger friend emerged from the stall I was waiting on. However, I had to pee so bad that I didn’t stop to consider the possibilities. I hurried inside, locked the door and turned to find that “she” left the toilet seat up. You make what you want out of that.

I also saw the original Joe Dirt. This has to be the guy that the movie was based on. He was seriously wearing high-top converse all-stars with tight fitting stone washed Levis a faded out ac/dc t-shirt and the mullet was downright beautiful. He absolutely adored it. He flipped his hair around like a high school cheerleader and was proud. I have to be honest, I was kind of proud too. This guy wasn’t your typical gross mullet guy, he kept his shit clean and polished. It was like he stepped straight out of 1987! No joke.

So I guess that brings me to the goth kids. I’m not sure why anyone would think that black lipstick and spiky collars make you look nice. The leather pants and platform boots look uncomfortable at best, and eyeliner on men has never been attractive. Never. These are the same people that try to start a fight if they catch you staring at them. Make up your minds, don’t wear attention demanding outfits if you don’t want the attention.

I’m not sure what it is about the holiday or perhaps the band that brings these people out of the woodwork. Where do they hide when there isn’t some sort of event to bring them out into public? Why don’t I ever see them at the grocery store or the bank for example? Just something to think about the next time you bring the kiddies to the park…on that note I would like to dedicate this blog to all the closet freaks of the Midwest. Thanks for not being crazy all the time!

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