bartenderbaby

Dear Nataley,

My semi-serious boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years. I love him a lot and could see us having a future together if it weren’t for the fact that his mother is the ultimate mega-beast bitch. She’s so nasty that I have seriously considered ending the relationship for good with my boyfriend because of the way she treats me. I don’t want to, but I don’t know how much more I can take from her. Any thoughts?

-Lost in love

Dear Lost,

Believe it or not, hating your in-laws is common. I know my husband wasn’t very fond of my mother at first, it was so bad that I had to confront her about her behavior and ignore her phone calls for three months before she got the hint. When she realized that I was serious she eased up on the hubby and we were home free from then on in the in-law department. I don’t know how your boyfriend feels about it, does he know you’re at your wits end with mommy dearest? If not, you need to put your feelings out on front street. If she’s still an asshole after boyfriend talks to her and all else fails, spray-paint some profanities in her yard, it’ll be at least a month or two before she can mow it out and you’ll get a chuckle out of it every time you see the dirty beast.

Happy painting!

Nataley

I mentioned in my blog yesterday that some shit went down around home that has taken a toll on my patience and sense of humor. In an effort to turn them around my husband and I took a night for ourselves and went to the bar for a bite and some cocktails.

It was a pretty slow night. Some of our friends were there, and only a few people I didn’t know. One of the kids (who was very obviously drunk.) was intent on playing pool. He swaggers up to the bar and says “Hey, how much are quarters?” to which the bartender replied without skipping a beat “They’re 75 cents for 3.” That conversation in itself was enough to raise my spirits for the evening.

Time flew by for the rest of the night. Toward the end (about two hours later) that same kid who was drunk when I got there, waddles over to our group and says to my friend J (who is also a bartender there) Will you make me a drink? She tells him that she’s not working, but B (who is working) will make his drink. He turns to look at the bar, turns back and says I don’t want B to make it, I want you to. You make them good-er.

No shit. I know I’m not a grammatical genius, but this guy made me laugh. We still joke about it at the bar. 

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of lent…a time for sacrifices and eating less meat. As a matter of fact, my sacrifice for lent this year will be to give up red meat. I’ve been slowly making my way towards vegetarianism and I think now’s a good time to see if I can cut red meat out of my diet all together. I’m not quite sure I can kick the white meat habit but you have to start somewhere right?

Before this week I was fully set to give up alcohol for lent. Unfortunately, some shit went down on the home-front recently that has severely depleted my patience stock and has therefore driven me to drinking. HA. Red meat it is.

I made an appearance at an event this weekend held at my old hangout. For the most part I needed a change of scenery and this party seemed like the perfect opportunity. On some level I also wanted a little slice of nostalgia but it didn’t come in the form I expected.

I get there and immediately notice the bar is completely remodeled. Only a vague inclination of what my favorite weekend home used to be. Disappointing, but not intolerable. I settle in and wait for the fun to begin.

I fully expected a great show and great people. What I got was a mediocre performance which included two or three kids singing along to songs played by a DJ. (a.k.a. KARAOKE!) and some real assholes for “fans”.  I have to hand it to the performers, though, because they actually had enough balls to pass off their little “gig” as a real show and even charged a cover!

I did end up seeing a couple of people I hadn’t seen in a long time, but they were both the type of acquaintance that you wouldn’t approach right away because you can’t remember exactly how you know them…By the end of the night I witnessed two blood spattered people being escorted out and three police officers wielding mace and big black batons just waiting for an opportunity to use them. Hardly the nostalgic fun filled night I was looking forward to.

I’ve tossed the idea of an advice section in the old bartender blog around for a while now. I’m frequently called upon for advice or my opinion in several topics ranging anywhere from drink preferences to sensitive personal matters on a daily basis at work and I thought if people could ask anonymously, how much more intriguing it could be!

I’ve put some feelers out to my friends and some other people on the idea of an advice section and have only gotten positive responses so far, so here is my official public announcement… I’ve put an advice category in my blog. I’m not anywhere near qualified in the therapy department, but I love hearing other people’s questions and problems and I love LOVE telling people what to do. (my sister is nodding furiously in agreement at that statement.)

If you have a topic for discussion or any random question in general, you may leave it in a comment here, or you can email it privately to me with ask Nataley as the topic so it doesn’t get discarded and I will do my best to answer. I can’t wait to hear all the crazy stuff you guys can come up with!!

I went parking lot sledding again this weekend. It snowed some more since the last time so our mountain had some new (more dangerous) dynamics. We started down the opposite side because the original path dead ended on direct pavement and since I’m pretty attached to my front teeth we decided not to risk it.

J and I started out ourselves and were later joined by a couple of onlookers who were then joined by a few more spectators. After they saw how much fun we were having everyone decided to have a go. J got down to the bottom and instead of carrying her makeshift sled (a.k.a. serving trays from the bar) back to the top she just winged it like  a Frisbee to one of our bosses who was a little on the tipsy side anyway. He caught it right in the manhood and fell backward to roll/fall right down the back side of the hill.

I wish I wish I wish I had caught it on video so you would have a visual to this story. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. This poor guy gets up all snow covered, hands cupped over his injury and without saying a word, limps back into the bar.

The rest of us went down a few more times. I crashed on a ride toward the end and bashed my head into a big rock of ice/snow. It was funny to be sure but not nearly as funny as D getting his rocks bashed and falling down the snow mountain. Ahhh….winter fun.